Mother's Day... it's just another day.

Hello! I know, it's been awhile since I've written here although I've written lots of posts in my head, I just can't ever find the time to type it out. So, as I sit here on Mother's Day, my child napping because she wouldn't feed herself at lunch and I'm feeling a bit woe is me, I decided I write my thoughts on today... and the majority of holidays as a single mom.

Let me be honest. Today is Mother's Day... but it's really just another day. I got up, quietly getting ready for church so AR could sleep in, fed the dog, waiting til the last minute to wake her up so we could still get to church on time. She wakes up, gets ready fairly easily but on the way to church, her bowl of dry Raisin Bran tips over and spills all over the backseat. I don't say a word but tears fill the car. I tell her it's not a big deal, we'll vacuum them out after church and we're going to lunch right after so it's fine. Tears stop, we get to church where we meet my mom and immediately, she runs to her. My mom asks if she's told me Happy Mother's Day to which AR mumbles it to me without even looking at me. We go to church, head to lunch and then after lunch, we head home and I tell her she needs to lay down thus ensuing more tears. Now, I'm sitting in the middle of my pitch black living room, reading Facebook posts, and trying not to cry because to me, a single mom, Mother's Day is just another day. There's no breakfast in bed, no homemade card or gift, and barely even a verbal Happy Mother's Day. The same goes for Christmas, Valentine's Day, my birthday, etc... they're all just another day because there's no one to help her or emphasize the importance of the days. For Christmas, I'll buy something for myself and give it to my mom to let AR wrap and give to me. For my birthday, I let her order me a cookie cake and we celebrated with that. I do the best I can, I'm trying as hard as I can but geesh, some days, I feel so incredibly alone. Shoutout to her teacher for the amazing afternoon on Friday that made up for the emptiness of today, I truly appreciate that. AR was so excited about the Mom's Day in her class on Friday and it was a great afternoon but today is still hard.

Six years ago today was my due date. I never expected life to be what it is six years later but it is what it is. I have a beautiful, sweet daughter, who may not realize today is supposed to be special for me, but she is my greatest blessing. So, instead of sitting here moping and feeling bad for making her take a nap, I'm going to go lie down beside her and get a few extra snuggles .

Mother's Day 2017

Today I celebrated my FIFTH Mother's Day with AR. Those five years have been a whirlwind of change, happiness, tears, love, fear, the unknown, and so much more, and you know what? I wouldn't change any of it for one minute. Every thing I've been through in the five years since I've had AR and all the years leading up to May 18, 2012 have made me the mother I am today. I'm not perfect, I'm not even close. I'm impatient. I'm demanding but I would do anything in the world for this girl. I love her and I love her hard. This little diva is my whole world, my best friend, my partner in crime, my biggest cheerleader, and she's stuck with me whether she likes it or not!

I started the day off feeling awful, allergies, sinuses, and all that other gunk but I'm a single mom and even though it was Mother's Day, there was things to get done. AR and I headed outside where I mowed the yard and I'll be honest, I was feeling a little down because it was Mother's Day and I had to do laundry, mow the yard, wash dishes, pack lunch, etc... After I finished mowing, I decided I was going to tackle putting together the trampoline I got AR for her birthday. My girl came to help me and all my sadness was gone. Sure, I wasn't "getting the day off" but I had the best helper ever right there beside me. We may not have gotten it all done but we worked together and she was cheering me along the whole time.

We were waiting around to see what Nanny wanted to do but she was having some people come over to help her unload the truck from Florida. So AR and I headed to Six Flags which I was still feeling pretty awful but we still had a good time. I introduced her to the Joker ride which she loves now. We didn't stay too long and then headed to Nanny's. After our showers, I remembered that we needed to take our annual Mother's Day photo which turned into an impromptu photoshoot.

AR asked to take some pictures of me and I have to say this is now my favorite picture of myself because it's through the eyes of my daughter. No make-up, no professional photographer, just a girl taking a picture of her momma.

Then our pictures from Mother's Day every year!

Mother's Day is always bittersweet. I will never forget the struggle and heartache we endured trying to get pregnant. I'm beyond grateful to be a mother but I hate that so many of my friends are struggling to get their miracle. I pray for them every day that they get their own blessing like I did with my AR. So, Happy Mother's Day to all the moms, women like moms, men like moms, moms-to-be, furbaby moms, moms to angels, waiting moms, and future moms, we all deserve to be celebrated!

P.S.

If you can't tell from how all over the place this post is, I'm suffering from a major headache and headed to bed now! Sorry for the rambling and randomness!

Happy Valentine's Day 2017!!!

Today was my first official Valentine's Day as a single woman in almost a decade. Instead of a day of professing your love to my significant other, I thought back over how I'd spent this day in the last decade. One thing was consistent until the last few years, we always went to Shogun's even when we had a third wheel because our friend's husband got called into work. There's one yogurt place that I've only been to for dessert after a Valentine's dinner at Shogun and I always think of that when I drive by. We ran races, photographed my baby bump, did baby photo shoots with lots of lipstick, and we had our annual play dates, with me playing air guitar, and our dinners morphed into heart-shaped pizza that looked like a butt.

They were never bad, Matt always did something thoughtful, so being that this was my first love holiday without a significant other, I had zero expectations for the day. The day ended up being pretty awesome and I felt TONS of love! I cannot stress enough how awesome my friends and family are and how the right people come into your life with no explanation but they make your life whole and right and happy and anything other good word you can think of.

Here's a recap of our awesome day!

Here's the set-up AR woke up to this morning. a sock monkey with candy, her love note, and a new placemat with her picture on it because the girl has gotten to be a pretty messy eater!

She was pretty pumped about the gift, especially when I let her eat a piece of her chocolate before breakfast.

She wore her love shirt and picked out the whole outfit on her own. Take a look at my girl, she was not feeling good today, really warm, no high fever, but just not herself, but still smiling.

I went to work and my awesome co-worker, April, brought me this and it totally made my day!

Monday when we got home from school, I started to unpack AR's backpack. I found two cards like this in it and left them in there. Later, I said, "Hey, I think there's something in your backpack that maybe you want to put away." She looks in her backpack, reaches in, and walks it over to me and says, "Here, Mommy." I suggested maybe she wanted to give it to me the next day and she was like nah. I finally convince her to give it to me in the morning. Cue Tuesday morning and I'm helping her get dressed, I see the card and ask if she has anything to give me. AR.... "no." *shaking my head* She finally gave me this super awesome card and I love it! I hung mine up at work so I could see it all the time.

I thought AR's card and April's chocolate was it but no! I got a text late in the afternoon from our friends in Arizona that said something was waiting for us at the Hallmark store. So we swung by and picked up this GIANT teddy bear, a Willow Tree figurine, and some chocolate pretzels. AR was pretty pumped!

This bear was so big that it needed it's own carseat! Thank you, J & D, for thinking of us and I'm glad you two were together today.

We had dinner at McAllister's then came home and got in our jammies. Matthew stopped by with a gift that AR had picked out for me over the weekend. She got to give her his card and the chocolate we got for him. He visited for a little bit and she got to snuggle with her daddy on Valentine's Day. AR picked out the Minnie cup so that we'd have matching ones now.

Oh! I totally forgot she made this super adorable LOVE sign at the babysitter's today. I am, well, so in love with it that I think I might get it framed and hang it up in my bedroom.

Me and my Valentine, the best one I could ever ask for!

After Daddy left, it was time for bed and seriously, that bear... it's almost as big as her!!!

For a day that I wasn't expecting much out of, I felt more love from so many different people. It was wonderful to be thought of so much and to realize how awesome our true friends and family are. They're our village and our village is so completely amazing! The real lesson here is that you can be single and Valentine's Day can still rock if you're got an awesome support system like we do! 

Hope you all had a Valentine's Day as fabulous as ours. We'll continue celebrating tomorrow with her class party!

Christmas 2016

Merry Christmas, everyone!!! After AR and I went to Six Flags on Friday, we headed over to my sister's house. She was hosting our family's Christmas on Saturday. My main objective was to keep H out of trouble and make sure AR and Sha got along. Way past all of our bedtimes, the three littlest girls headed to bed while Sha Sha continued to prepare for the big event and we all slept in until almost 9AM on Saturday morning!

We all three started out in one bed then I got up since I was squeezed in the middle. Halfway through the night, AR came and got into bed with me. In the morning she said she woke up and figured I was lonely and needed love so that's why she got in bed with me. In reality, I think H kicked her out of bed because AR was a kicking machine. AR then proceeded to tell me that she was going to go see if H would jump outside with her (on the trampoline) and I had to be the bad mom and tell her that was a bad idea. So instead, we took showers and got ready for my dad and his family to arrive.

Once the girls knew Papa was close, they were anxious for them to get there. AR couldn't find her own boots so she hijacked mine!

Then the present unwrapping began and even AR was shocked at the stack in front of her. She got lots and lots of Descendants dolls, Trolls, cute clothes, and lots more!

After presents, delicious lunch (thank you, Sha Sha!) then we all sat down to watch Christmas Vacation.

Not all of us made it through the movie... someone had to do a show of gymnastics tricks for their Mommy!

The Hfield fam!!!

After slight panic because I couldn't find my keys, but eventually did in the bottom of my bag, we headed back to our house. We picked up Nanny and drove around to look at Christmas lights. We had extra Minion ornaments that we'd made for her class. Our neighborhood had a few Minion inflatables so we stopped at three houses to give them a Minion ornament. The first house wasn't home so we left it on their doorknob. The second house the guy thought we were crazy. The third house was grandparents and invited us in to see their snow village. They let AR turn on every Hallmark holiday toy that plays music and sent us on our way with a bag of Hershey kisses. It was a pretty magical, neighborly moment!

When we got back home, she set out cookies and milk herself.

All ready for Santa, now get to bed, kiddo!

Here was the spread from Santa... an Elsa castle, a Trolls seek and find book, a My Little Pony easy reader, and a Blues dress.

Opening her stocking and wondering why the heck she got an orange! I had to explain it was for good health.

She had lots of other presents to open from me, Nanny, her babysitter, and some other people that love her that sent some over or dropped them off. She is a very blessed little girl to have such wonderful people in her life.

After the gift opening, we had breakfast of special drinks and an egg casserole that was incredibly easy and delicious.

Then we had a little bit of time to open a few gifts. Her big gift from me was a Descendants karaoke machine and it was a hit!

I'm sure we'll be hearing a LOT of this during her Christmas break this next week.



Santa also brought both AR and me this necklace. It has our birthstones on it. It says "I love you behind my back and around" because that's what AR always says then it says A Team because that's what we call ourselves.

Then it was time to head over to Daddy's!

Matt invited me in to see the tree that Santa had brought to her room and he let me stick around to watch her open her gifts from him and Santa. 

Santa brought her this super awesome tea set which she had asked for! WTG Santa!!!

AR and Daddy got me a gift and it was the greatest ever because my girl thought of it all on her own! I won a bike back in November so AR told Matt that I needed a blue helmet so we could ride it through the neighborhood together. How awesome of a thought process is that? I hadn't said anything, she thought about it all by herself!

My sweet, thoughtful girl! I can't wait until spring so we can ride together again!

When Matt dropped her off Christmas night, they brought in all the gifts she got at grandma's so I could see. One of her favorites was this pink camouflage BB gun.

Overall, I think this little girl had a pretty awesome Christmas! Now, I get to spend the next three days with her while I'm off work. Today we hit up Six Flags again with a soccer teammate, tomorrow we're going to Sing in Suite Seats, and then who knows what Wednesday will hold for us! Hopefully, your holiday was as blessed as ours. Merry Christmas!

Elf on the Shelf: Rainbow Dash Sparkles Sparkles

Well, ladies and gentlemen, Elf on the Shelf appeared in the G-Fam household the Friday after Thanksgiving. I called it that AR would name her Rainbow Dash and so our Elf will be known as Rainbow Dash Sparkles Sparkles.

The first night she arrived, she was just chillin' by our stockings and AR and I read the book to become familiar with the story. As soon as I finished, AR got serious and said to me, "Mommy, I have to tell you something... I touched her already when I was looking at my stocking." I told her it was okay since she didn't know the rule yet.

The next morning, we woke up and Rainbow Dash had gotten into our sprinkles to make a snow angel! Thank you, Rainbow Dash, for leaving that for me to clean up...

We went to my dad's for Thanksgiving Saturday morning and when we came home on Sunday, Rainbow Dash was sitting on AR's tree along with an ornament of her that we added to her tree.

Rainbow Dash wanted to make sure we knew that she rocks... although AR keeps telling me, "Mommy, her name is Rainbow Dash Sparkles Sparkles, not Rocks."

Rainbow Dash got wrapped up in some lights when she was trying to climb the tree!

Silly Rainbow Dash made a snowman out of TP then got stuck inside it! AR had a hard time finding her this morning and then was afraid that Rainbow Dash had used the potty inside the TP!

On December 1, Rainbow Dash brought our Advent calendar... but she got into it before we could! 

Rainbow Dash knows we love snocones so she was in our freezer with coupons to get some snocones from our favorite place, Bahama Bucks. 

AR was so surprised to find her there! Luckily, Rainbow Dash had left behind an umbrella on the floor so we had an idea where to look.

Nanny always has popcorn when she travels. She'd popped some Friday night for her flight back to FL on Saturday morning, Silly Rainbow Dash got into it and was watching TV when we got up.

Last year AR was begging for a nativity scene, just like one she had in her classroom. Rainbow Dash must've heard her talking about it because she brought one for her. Thank you, Rainbow Dash!!!

Rainbow Dash left a note apologizing for using all the sprinkles for her sprinkle angel. She also brought supplies for us to make cupcakes including cute elf cupcake holders. 

AR had to take this pic of her "not touching Rainbow Dash." Of course, she wanted to make the cupcakes right then and there too!

Silly Rainbow Dash got into the toothpaste! My Mini Me insisted on cleaning up the toothpaste before we left for school... oh how I love her so much!

AR spent the night before at her dad's so Rainbow Dash was a little bored and had a tea party with AR's other toys. When she came home, she was so excited that Rainbow Dash was using her Olaf tea set and she told me that she didn't care if the elf played with her toys. Then she looked at me and asked if she could try to get Rainbow Dash's teacup. Then we accidentally moved the chair and Rainbow Dash started to fall but I stopped the chair before she did. I went downstairs to put laundry in and when I came back up, Rainbow Dash was on the floor. When I asked AR if she touched her, she said no, she'd just moved the chair. Suddenly, it dawned on me that it's a game to AR to "not touch the elf... but still move her." :-/

Rainbow Dash got a little troll fever!

Rainbow Dash brought this note and pack of M&Ms to AR. It says: "Your daddy grows plants, right? Well, now it's your turn! Plant these M&Ms in this bowl of sugar and see what happens tomorrow. Oh, and eat a few M&Ms while you do." So we planted the M&Ms deep in the bowl of sugar and waited...

We woke up the next morning and the M&M's we planted grew a candy cane!!!

Rainbow Dash found this Barbie horse that is probably 30+ years old and took her for a ride. 

Rainbow Dash made these containers of mini M&M's into Rudolphs and left a note telling AR to take them to Ms. Pam's to share with her friends there.

Uh oh... Rainbow Dash got into the sticker collection!

Rainbow Dash brought AR an Elf on the Shelf notebook and special pen... and forgot to take the stickers off her face!

Rainbow Dash must've gotten lost and wound up in her underwear basket!

The next night, she got trapped under a glass in the cupboard!

Rainbow Dash was jammin' out when we woke up this morning!

Rainbow Dash brought a pickle to hide on the Christmas tree and whoever finds it first on Christmas morning gets the present that she's sitting on.

Elsa froze Rainbow Dash!!!

Rainbow Dash brought this sign back from the North Pole and hung it on our front door!

Rainbow Dash was feeling left out not having a stocking so she brought AR some new socks and hide in them.

Then on Christmas Eve she headed back to the North Pole to help Santa with Christmas and stayed there until next year! Thanks for all the fun times, Rainbow Dash!!!