Miss AR is Six Weeks!!!

...AH! Time you are going way too fast!!! My sweet little girl is six weeks old today which means my maternity leave is halfway over. It makes me sad to think I won't have days to hold her and cuddle her all day long. I know once I start back to work that life will get busier and I won't have as many moments to hold her and let my worries disappear. Okay, enough on that, let's not talk about it, ok? I have tears in my eyes as I type this.
*Here's what I mean by having time to just watch her smiling at me. She LOVES her changing pad, maybe because she can watch the fan but this is the place that makes her happiest.

*My little girl was super fussy earlier this week which I figured was because of ANOTHER growth spurt (or the same one?). I called a lactation consultant at the hospital and her pediatrician's office to get some advice. I started feeding her every 2 hours during the day and she doesn't seem to be nearly as fussy nor do I have to hold her as much (which I don't mind doing!). The only fall back is that I'm not pumping/storing as much but I'm still getting at least 5 ounces/day to freeze. The LC that called me back was shocked that AR took the bottle since we introduced it so late (4.5 weeks).
*Matt is giving her a bottle every other night, mainly so that I can save more milk on the days I feed her at bedtime (like I said I'm a milk hoarder). The other night he calls me in from the other room because she was "holding the bottle on her own." Not quite perfect but it's a start, right?

*Seriously, she has got some CRAZY hair!!! I comb it after every bath but no matter what, the left side of her hair always sticks straight up.
*She is smiling more which gets me so excited! She is also cooing a little bit here and there but not a ton. If we stick our tongue out at her, she'll usually do it back to us. I've been trying to not do "baby talk" and talking to her more. It's hard because usually I'll do baby talk when it's just the two of us. When I'm home alone, I like quiet so I try to have music on for her and I'm trying to tell her more what I'm doing which my mom says I'm taking a little extreme. For example, I was in the shower the other day and she was wide awake in her bouncer so I said, "Autumn, I'm taking a shower and washing my hair. I wash my hair to get rid of dirt, germs and bacteria." I will also point to her and tell her her name and spell it for her and do the same to me. Who knows if it makes a difference but it can't hurt, right?

*She's usually crabby from 5-7 AKA The Witching Hour. The other night, Matt's friend and his brother were over. She was intently watching them and they were giving her attention. Then the boys all left and the fussiness started. Great-she's already boy crazy!
*My niece has come over a few times to help during the day and let me just say-Godsend!!! She's 8 and will do just about anything with AR...change dirty diapers, rock her when she's fussy, sing to her plus she'll play with the dogs and bring me burp clothes, whatever I ask her to do. On Monday, I took a shower and had her sit on the bed in my bedroom (bathroom is attached). I had AR in the Boppy and H read to her. H is so animated when she reads so for a good 30-40 minutes, AR just sat there watching her totally engaged with her. It was awesome!

*We've gone through a LOT of diapers this week. I'll hear her poop so I'll change her and put another diaper on and she'll go again, sometimes I don't even have the diaper fastened on! It's like I know she's pooped so I don't want her to sit in it but at the same time, she's not done. So I have to decide, go through more diapers or let her sit for a couple minutes to see if she's really done? I've contemplated maybe doing cloth diapers at night because that's mainly when this happens. We'll see how the next week goes.

*She's started cooing a little bit, not a ton. I read in my "What to Expect The First Year" book that vowel sounds usually come first. Call me crazy but I'll say, "Ooo" to her and I swear sometimes she'll repeat it. She'll do it a couple times in a row but push for three and she'll let you know she's done. You also have to catch her in the right mood. It could just be coincidence but I like to think she's mocking me.

We have a BIG week ahead of us. Saturday is Fourth of July party at my sister's, Sunday is BIL's birthday dinner at my MIL's then we're headed to my mom's for Fourth of July in Cape next week. I'm a little worried about being in Cape for 3 nights that it'll throw her off schedule. I'm just going to have to put my foot down and be a mean mom to my family and let them know what's up. Plus I have my six-week postpartum check-up and I'm stopping by work to say bye to my boss. Hopefully, I'll remember to recap all of it!

Happy Six Weeks my little boogey butt, momma loves you!

BFing 101: Freezing and Hittin' the Bottle...

...okay, so I'm no expert on BFing and I still feel from time to time that I have NO idea what I'm doing but I thought I'd share my experience.

First off, AR has been a great little nurser! We're on a bit of a schedule these days. We wake up at 5am (which is what we'll have to do when I go back to work) and feed then eat again at 8, 11, 2, 5 and 7:30 then bedtime. She'll wake up around 12-1am and feed. Sometimes she'll start to wake up at 4am. I'll go get her if she's crying and just feed one side then put her back to sleep, then I'll let us both sleep in until about 5:30 and then feed the other side. Some mornings she's just grunting and slowly waking up because when I go to check on her, she's still sleeping so then we'll wait and feed at 5. No, I'm not strict on these times. Usually we hardly EVER make it to the actually time and we'll feed at 40-50 before the hour (i.e. 7:40 or 10:40) and sometimes if she's sleeping, we'll eat late because I'll let her snooze.

Since the start of week 3, I've been pumping to start stockpiling. I was all over the place when I'd pump, sometimes after every feeding, sometimes once a day and sometimes I'd get 5 ounces and other times I'd barely cover the bottle of the bag/bottle. I was also leaky all over especially at night.

I have finally fallen into a routine where I pump after the first 2 feedings (5am and 8am) then again after the 2pm feeding. I usually wait about 20-30 minutes after she eats to make sure she's full before I pump out all her milk but still have plenty to time before her next feeding. I still leak from time to time but it is DRASTICALLY less than those first couple weeks. Occasionally, I'll leak at night but usually my boobs, especially the right one, is rock hard but the time she feeds in the morning. Once I feed her and pump though, the hardness goes away.

I am a milk hoarder though. Matt will say let's thaw out some milk and I'll feed her tonight. I'll be like no-that's for when I go back to work! I think my fear is that my milk is going to stop so if I stockpile it then that'll give us some extra time to continue with breastmilk.
Something we didn't think about before she got here was how to store the bags of breastmilk. Seriously, with all the baby stuff out there, you'd think someone would cash in on some overpriced thing to store it in! We've used baby wipes containers and baskets but once the milk freezes and expands, we can't fit a WHOLE lot in there.

On the left is a bag of frozen milk and on the right is fresh milk that's about to be frozen.

Here it is in the wipes container and as you can tell, there's only like 7 which is maybe a day's worth once I go back to work? I'm hoping when I go back to work to still nurse her at 5am, maybe 5pm and 7:30pm. I'm hoping we've dropped the late night feeding by then but if not, we'll prob alternate nursing and bottle so that I'm not the one whose always up once we're both working.

I was really hesitant to introduce the bottle because I didn't want to ruin her latch. I'll be honest though that the main reason I didn't want to was because I really enjoy that time I have with her. But it's a catch 22 because it's hard both mentally and physically to be tied to her 24/7. Last Thursday, we finally gave her the bottle and she took it like a champ! And I must admit it was nice to lay down in my bed and read a little while the two were doing this.

I'm pretty sure she was going through a growth spurt because all she'd do last week was eat, sleep and fuss. So by the time bedtime rolled around, I hadn't pumped a feeding yet because I'd been feeding her almost every hour and a half and didn't have any extra to pump. I'd gotten about an ounce and half so at 6 when she started to get fussy, I suggested we give her that to see if that would make her happy until I could pump a full feeding. By the time I had the bottle ready (Matt argued with me over warming it up vs serving it out of the fridge-FYI our BFing book we got from class said you could serve it at room temp or from the fridge), she was a hot, fussy mess and would NOT take the bottle. I suggested that Matt try to calm her down first to which he got mad at me for hovering because he "had it under control." He went into the nursery with her, rocked her and got her calm then she took the bottle no problem.

Here's AR and her daddy taking her first bottle with her hair all a mess!

That's all I've got! Feel free to leave questions or tips.

Pinterest Inspired Newborn Pics...

...before AR arrived, I knew that I wanted some personalized, creative newborn pics. When I searched Pinterest, I found quite a few but not many under "newborn camo photos" or "creative newborn pics." So I've uploaded quite a few of AR's on Pinterest to help some other people.

When Katie arrived, I told her that I wanted to do the typical newborn pics first. That way if the personalized ones didn't work then we'd at least have some regular ones to fall back on. Good idea because she was getting a little cranky towards the end so the Cardinal ones didn't turn out that great but they're all still really cute.

Here's AR's camo pics, I meant to put a pink bow in her hair during these to make sure you could tell she was a girl but by this point, that was the last thing on my mind. This is daddy's work boot and camo jacket.

Laying on daddy's camo jacket

This one was for Papa

Remember I told my dad that I was pregnant at the World Series? My mom crocheted the little headband and it has a baseball on it instead of a flower. Can't wait to take her to her first Cards game...maybe this fall?

Now this I saw on Pinterest, on the right is a pic of me during my "maternity shoot" and on the left is AR wrapped up in my shirt. I think the ones of her wrapped up in my shirt turned out the best and we caught her smiling too.

There were a ton more pics I wanted to do, like some with the dogs, but when you're working with a two week old, you take what you can get! I'm hoping this fall when she's holding her head up that maybe we can do a family shoot. I'm wanting to do a collage of her pics in our living room like we did for our wedding pics. Now off to pick out my favorites to put in that collage!

Sweet AR is 5 Weeks!!!

...my little girl is 5 weeks old today!!! I already posted about her doctor's appointment so I'll just highlight some thoughts...

*She took her first bottle last night and did a great job! I have a post scheduled about it next week so stay tuned.

*I started thinking about work the other night and going back. Ugh...it's still 7 weeks away but I'm dreading it. I don't want to leave my sweet baby. Sometimes during the day when she's fussy and fighting sleep, I'll pick her up and hold her until she drifts off. I know the sitter won't be able to do that and it breaks my heart. Enough on that topic, I don't want to think about it!


*This week, it seems like she'll be hungry, sleepy or fussy. It's like there's only 5-10 minutes that she's awake and not fussy. Once you hold her, or give her the boob, then she's okay. I'm assuming this is a growth spurt but it makes me stress out about taking her out in public after she's got her vaccines. What if she starts freaking out and crying? It's like I don't want to take her out in public! I'm even hesitate when people come over because I don't want her to be fussy and people leave and tell people she's a bad baby because she's fussy.

*I'm really starting to get attached (even more!) to this sweet, precious baby. Last Sunday, we took her to my MIL's for Father's Day and everyone wanted to hold her. When we got home and I finally got to hold her, I realized how much I'd missed her! Same feeling I had at our 1am feeding since Matt did the bedtime feeding.

*I bought myself a BELIEVE necklace after our first IVF didn't work. I put it on the day of my FET that I got pregnant with AR and I wore it every day of my pregnancy up until this past week. I decided it was time to pass it on to someone else who needed it so I'm mailing it to one of my friends whose going through IVF sometime later this year. I wanted to get a picture of AR with the necklace before I sent it on. I never got a super good one but I LOVE this one I snapped.

*AR has started drooling like crazy this week which I read is normal until they realize they can swallow their saliva.

*My mommy things I like to do: When I pick her up to walk with her, I like to put her arms on each side of my neck and act like she's hugging me. Sometimes when she's fussy or I'm in the shower and she starts to fuss, I'll start singing to her and if you know me, that isn't pretty but she seems to like it. She loves "Mary Had a Little Lamb" although I don't really know all the words so she gets mommy's version. I also sing to her Bieber's "Baby" but my tune goes, "Autumn's momma's baby, baby, baby..." H really liked it when she heard me singing it.
*Lately, she seems to be fussy more but when I lay her on the changing table she's happy as can be. I get smiles there and she looks around like crazy. This morning, I realized I had a headband to match her outfit so I pulled it out. When I put it on her, I started laughing like crazy. Does she not look like an '80s workout teacher?

*As for me, I've gotten the stool softened but every time I go, it flares up my hemmorroid and my butt hurts for the rest of the day. Last night, I was rolling around in bed for almost 2 hours in pain from it until I finally remembered to try out the ice pack and then I fell asleep shortly after that.

Aside from huge boobs and aching back, I'm feeling ready to workout but I don't have doc's release yet. My sore butt also makes walking a little rough but I roll with it. I go on July 2 so hopefully I'll get it then. I was doing really well going on walks but now that it's warmed up, I can't take AR so I can only go if Matt gets home in time to watch her while I go for a quick walk. Once I get the okay to workout then I'm hoping to do some abs and home circuits while she's sleeping, probably not too hardcore but it's something, right?

Happy Friday everyone and Happy Five Weeks Sweet Baby Girl!

AR's Newborn Pics...

...a big thank you to the talented Katie Beach for doing AR's newborn shots! These were taken at two weeks. I love them!!!

We only did a few with the headband on and those few turned out great!

Emma stopped in the nursery to see what was going on

Our wedding rings with "Guess How Much I Love You" although I love the book "On the Night You Were Born" much better

We got a Miss AR!!!

I LOVE this picture because it has ALL of her ultrasound pics including the ones of her as an embryo at 5 days old. Katie said no one else ever has used the u/s pics but it's such a simple way to personalize the pictures.

Snoozing...

Another post coming soon with her newborn pics that were Pinterest inspired!

AR's One Month Check-Up...

...whew! What a long day!!! AR had her one month check up today. Luckily, my dad came up and was able to go with me because Matt had to work. It was nice to have an extra pair of hands. AR is looking good and she did MUCH better this time only crying here and there vs when she went at 5 days and screamed the whole time. The office gave me a little sticker that said, "Growing Girl" and had her stats on it so I could put it in her baby book-what a great idea!!! I took a picture of her with it while she was drooling on the table but it's on my phone so I can't get it on my computer. :( It was a really good appointment for my little girl but I left upset due to discussion with the doctor about a certain topic. I hate when you have a good experience but then leave upset because of one little comment. Guess I need to learn to quit being so sensitive, huh?

Now on to the growth part!!!

Length
May 18-20 inches
June 19-22 inches
75% percentile meaning she's above average

Weight
May 18-7.15 pounds (7.6 lbs at her 5 day check-up)
June 19-9.7 pounds
50% percentile meaning she's average which is a-okay because we don't want her to be overweight

Question I have for the mommas out there, when did you introduce a bottle when breastfeeding? We haven't yet. Doc said today that we could and should because the later you introduce it, the harder it'll be for her to take it. I don't want to mess up our BFing relationship by introducing the bottle but it's VERY important that she's good with the bottle because that's what she'll primarily be on come August when I go back to work. So any advice here on this topic would be gladly accepted!

Now on to even MORE exciting news!!! My mom FINALLY made me the Moby Wrap I'd been requesting. Not sure I can call it that since it's not officially one but you get the idea. I only tried it out for a second and I definitely need practice wrapping but here's what she looks like in it:

We cannot get this girl's hair under control! I comb it after every bath but it always ends up sticking straight up.

And within about two minutes, little girl was passed out!

Overall, she got a great report from the doctor which makes me one happy momma and I can't wait to start using my wrap-woohoo!!!

Father's Day 2012...

...I hope you all had a great Father's Day yesterday! Matt's first Father's Day was pretty low key, mainly because I haven't gotten out of the house much. AR got her daddy a card with four Monsters that said, "Sorry if I'm a 'monster' at night, I hope these give you some energy to get through the day." We also crawled into bed with him when we got up at 5am to tell him Happy Father's Day to which he replied, "It's still sleeping time..." so AR and I let him sleep in.

When Matt finally got up, he went to the grocery store and when he got home, mom got a little break! I went to the bedroom, closed the door and took a long hot shower. Then I laid down and started reading "50 Shades of Grey." I have a feeling it's going to take me a long time to finish this book because I don't get many breaks to just lay down and read like that.

At 4, we headed over to Matt's parents for dinner and it was also AR's first time out other than the hospital when she was born or doctor's office. Minus the fact that I told Matt to ask if we could eat at 5:30 and he told them 5 so I missed eating with everyone because I had to feed AR, it was a pretty successful trip. I packed plenty of diapers and really at this point, all we need are diapers and milk and well, it's hard to "forget" the milk at home. :)

Here's a picture of AR snoozing with her Grandpa and her dad.

AR is already experiencing the difficulties of being a woman...too big for newborn, too little for 0-3, already finding out how hard it is to find clothes that fit! I used a ponytail holder to tie the straps in the back to keep her from flashing everyone. Happy Father's Day everyone!

Gunnar & Autumn...

...today my sweet baby is 4 weeks old!!! That is exciting and sad at the same time. I love watching her change but at the same time, she's growing up too fast! We go to the doctor next week so I'll have a better update then for you all.

In the meantime, meet Autumn's friend, Gunnar. Before she was born, H went to a Cardinals game and the next day she called me. She said, "Sissy, I know that you don't like stuffed animals but I made the baby something at Build-A-Bear, I hope that's okay." What a sweetie! Of course, it was okay so the morning after AR was born, H brought the bear up to the hospital. She suggested that we name the bear Gunnar so now AR has a lifelong friend with Gunnar (and also a measuring stick each month!).

I put her in the basket to see how much she's grown each month but she's already almost too big for this!

Happy Four Weeks Baby Girl! Now let's slow down a little, ok? Momma loves you more than you'll ever know. 

Let's Talk About...

...hemorrhoids. Another down and dirty post on postpartum!

WARNING: This post is way TMI and probably more than you ever wanted to know about my butt and my bowel movements. I feel it's important to share this info for those that experience the same thing. You've been warn so read on at your own risk.

As I've mentioned on here and on Twitter, my butt has been KILLING me since I had AR. The first week, it really wasn't that bad. I had my first bowel movement and it wasn't that bad but it wasn't that comfortable either. I decided the second week after birth, I'd take a stool softener. Turns out, I probably didn't need it because it gave me total diarrhea. I figured okay this is normal and decided to just let it be.

Last week, things took a turn though...I would go to the bathroom and a little would come out and then a LARGE movement. Then my butt ached. The only way to describe it is the exact same way I felt when I was fully dialated and ready to push with AR. It wasn't painful or burning but achey. This was last Wednesday and Matt was working at the fair. I put AR to sleep at 7 and laid down to do the same but I couldn't. All I could feel was this pressure and ache and it was awful. I seriously text Matt like every 20 minutes telling him how awful it was. He texted back that he'd kiss my butt for me when he got home :) I tried witch hazel pads which did nothing. Thursday night I had Matt look, one of those things that neither of us ever pictured doing or asking when we got married, and he didn't see anything hanging out, just my stitches and a "normal" butt.

On Saturday, I sat on a small ice pack which really seemed to help. After it lost it's coolness, I took a break then sat on a big ice pack, like one you use for you back. Within about 5 minutes, I was shivering and told Matt I needed to go lay down. The whole night and next day, I had the shakes and felt awful! I think I just lowered my body temp too fast.

Sunday I took a Ducolax, which is a stool softener, and had a movement on Monday morning. It definitely came out much easier but still a little pain. I didn't take another one on Monday because I prefer NOT to take med if I don't have too and I didn't know if it was something you were supposed to take every day. Then came Tuesday morning...

I really wanted to take AR on a walk in her stroller because it was cool and not humid yet but I felt like I had to go. Right before we left, I had the urge and took her in her bouncer to the bathroom and sat down to go. A little came out fine but then the big movement was coming and I stopped. I went to wipe and oh, my husband used all the toilet paper and didn't replace it so I had to waddle to the other one to get a new roll.

We went on our walk and I felt like I still had to go but not too bad. A little before 10ish, I think, she woke up fussy. I changed her diaper and then felt the urge. I put her in her crib and went to the bathroom. It was HORRIBLE! I was trying to go without straining then she started SCREAMING so I couldn't relax. I won't even go into the details but I was in tears as I went to get her without having gone. When I wiped though, there was blood and not menstrual blood, this had been there since it started last Wednesday.

I picked her up and crawled into my chair giving her a pacifier. Then I called Matt in tears. We were both slightly irritated with each other that morning so I was apologizing before I said anything about bothering him at work. He was calm with me, told me to call the doc and reassured me it would be okay.

I called the nurse at my OB's office. She definitely thinks it's a hemmorroid INSIDE my butt. She called in a prescription for the ache which has an applicator to put inside (let me tell you how thrilled I am about that-not!), told me to take Miralax until I passed the hard BM and then start taking the Ducolax twice a day religiously until I got back to normal. I did use the word "turd" with her but I apologized before I used it saying I didn't know the medial term and that's the only way I knew to describe it. I also told her the pain/ache made me feel like I might be giving birth to another child. When I called Matt at lunch to let him know what the nurse said, I started telling him and AR started smiling. Glad she thinks this is funny!

Side note: Tuesday AR and I ventured out. We went to the bank drive-through to deposit a check and then went to Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. I'd called ahead and asked for a big favor. The Miralax is OTC. I told them I had a newborn and asked if there was anyway possible I could get that and my 'scripts at the drive through so I didn't have to go in with her. They glady did it, no questions asked-THANK YOU WALGREENS!!!

Another side note: I have prescription prenatal vitamins from when I was doing fertility treatments at WU. The Monday before AR was born, I ran out and had no refills left. I didn't want to switch to OTC so my OB called in a 'script for me. Now I'm out of that and I got a refill. When I picked it up, I realized I have no more refills. Seriously, people? It's VITAMINS not the pain med 'script you gave me when I had her (which I have YET to fill). AR's doc told me to keep taking them as long as I'm BFing so give me a year refill or something, it's not like you can abuse vitamins!!!
I'd tried everything on my own first before calling...fiber bars, drinking lots of water, apple juice, apples, walking, etc...Mainly because I didn't want to admit it was a hemmorroid and I didn't want to deal with having more uncomfortable pain in that area. Good news though, hopefully relief is on it's way!

Class Review...

...now that AR is here and I think back to my labor/delivery and breastfeeding, I think back to the classes we took at the hospital and how "helpful they were." Being a first time mom, I would've taken them just because that's what you're "supposed" to do and I had no clue what I was getting into.

Child Birth Class
The tour of the hospital was great and let us know what to expect but you could get this for free separately. However, I never left either rooms we were in except to walk once before I was in labor. Matt got to go out and about and see things. For real, I never knew we had a sign outside our room that said, "No latex" until someone mentioned it when they walked in to visit.

We got great information about laboring positions, C-sections, etc...Maybe because I was induced and sent straight to the hospital but I didn't have to watch for contractions to know when to go to the hospital and my water broke at the hospital. I was never dialated so I went fast from 0-4 so I barely had any time to do laboring positions.

Post-pregnancy only a few things were covered NOT things that are uncomfortable and miserable i.e. hemorroids and how much your butt will hurt or how horrible coughing is the first couple weeks.

They did tell us what tests would be run on the baby so that was a benefit to know what to expect.

Breastfeeding
I had done enough reading and some breastfeeding was covered in the childbirth class so everything covered in this class was really a review. I was more interested in taking this class to learn about pumping and storing. However, once I started pumping, I'd totally forgotten everything so it was like learning everything all over again. The one nice thing about this class was we got a sample of lanolin (a little sample bottle goes a LONG way) and a book on breastfeeding.

I had wanted to take a newborn care class, which some stuff was covered in our childbirth class. However, not taking it, and having to already take her temperature rectally, I feel like we're doing okay and I think I probably would still do what I do now...Google everything, ask my momma friends or call my sister crying. :)

In summary, I still probably would have taken the classes. However, I don't think they were necessary other than to put my mind at ease and it was helpful for Matt. Since I'm the reader/researcher, this kind of forced him to hear/learn things as well.

Random Notes for Today
*It was nice and cool this morning so I took AR on a walk. My neighbor stopped to look at her and as I started to walk off, she said, "You know your shorts are on backwards, right?" Oops! Guess I'm getting the hang of motherhood appropriately, huh?
*Breastfeeding is going pretty well and I'm pumping a lot. I actually think I'm overproducing because my boobs feel so HUGE. I know breastfeeding is supposed to reduce the risk of breast cancer but I feel like my breasts are so manhandled between nursing, pumping and Matt pinching my nipple to see milk come out (sorry if that's TMI but I know you all have curious husbands who probably do the same).
*Baby wipe containers once they're empty have so many uses! So far, we've used them to store the bags of frozen breast milk, seems to work so well so far.

Happy Tuesday, everyone! It is Tuesday, right?

Thanks Sha and H for the onesie!

Three Weeks...

...my little AR is three weeks old today! This week has really flown by and it's been a tiring week for mom. Sunday we took AR on her first stroller ride. Let me tell you, Baby Girl was THRILLED as in she fell asleep before we got out of the driveway.

When we got home (we little walked around the block, that was it), she started acting a little fussy and seemed warm. We took her temp with the armpit thermometer from the hospital and it was 99.2. Later that night, we gave her a bath and took her temp again-same. Both times though she had been in warm situations so we watched her closely and took her temp again Monday morning, same. I called the doctor's office and I had to take her tempature rectally...oye! Guess I'd have to do it sometime, right? It was right on at 98.6. Nurse and I talked about things and we got off the phone.

Of course, I thought AR didn't feel well so all day Monday, I basically let her sleep in my arms. I burnt dinner and I cried all day to my sister. Luckily, Matt fixed us eggs and the dogs got a nice treat of burnt deer steak. Unfortunately, Little Girl, was up...ALL NIGHT! Again, Matt helped me out despite having to be at work at 7am which was a blessing for a little bit of sleep.

Tuesday my niece came over and we got back in the groove. I think it's just a growth spurt but it was like I just started to figure things out and then it totally changed but I guess that's what being a parent is all about, right? Seems like she's awake most of the morning then sleeps in the afternoon and dozes early evening off and on until bed time.

Everyone keeps telling me she's growing so much. Maybe because I'm with her every day so I can't tell as much but I know that the newborn diapers we had were a little snug but now the ones seem HUGE! Newborn clothes are too tight, 0-3 are too big but the Gerber onesies that her dad got her seem to fit just perfect after we washed them.

How's Mom doing? For the most part, really well! Matt went on that first walk with us and went too fast for me so my knee popped. Monday I hobbled all around the house but I didn't let it hold me back. I've gone on a walk every day with Emma this week. I don't necessarily feel like I'm "working out" but it sure is nice to get out and get moving especially get some fresh air. Luckily, it's not too humid yet so the weather is pretty nice even though it's in the 90-100s. I feel totally out of shape and wondering how I'm going to run a half in October but even if I have to walk it, I'm going to do it!

Now let's talk about bowel movements. This is something I hadn't thought of while pregnant but once I gave birth and the nurses starting talking about it, I started to FEAR this. It hasn't been too bad, every couple days I have a movement. Last week, I took a stool softener to which was a HORRIBLE idea. I guess I didn't need that much softening...it was bad and hurt. So I didn't take another one than this past week, I had a movement and I'm pretty sure it might have been a hemorroid. I don't know for sure, I didn't look but my butt hurt so bad. It felt like when I was about to push so I was wondering if I was about to have another baby!?! I used witch hazel pads-no help. I searched the house for Preparation H which I swore I'd gotten as a shower gift, couldn't find it. I laid down to sleep but the ache wouldn't let me fall asleep. Sorry it's TMI but it's the down and dirty of post-pregnancy.

Pumping is going well too. I pump about 2-3 times/day after feeding her and get about 4-5 ounces which we freeze all together for when I go back to work. Seems like I can get about 3 oz after her first feeding in the morning (guess she's not as hungry?) and I'm SUPER leaky then I only get about an ounce or so when I pump in the afternoon. It's just hard to pump in the AM because she's usually wide awake and I'm alone so I have to keep her close and the pump close so I can take care of her and pay attention to that. I felt like I was getting a lot but when I think about it, if I keep pumping the same amount every day until I go back to work, that'll only be enough milk for 2-2.5 weeks and that's if we use ALL of it just for that. I'm hoping to pump some for a couple nights out here and there before I go back to work.

I've only gone out to run errands twice without her and then I usually feed her then leave immediately to run errands for about an hour and then get back home so no one has to feed her while I'm gone. Matt has suggested I pump one feeding so he can feed her at 11 or 12 and I can sleep but my thought is while I'm home and not working, I don't mind getting up with her so he can sleep since he's working. I'm also wondering when to pump a full, extra feeding so I'll ask when we go to the doc in a few weeks so hopefully that'll give me some more milk to freeze for future use.

So there you have it, how AR and I are doing at 3 weeks! I also saw this pin on Pinterest so I got the camera out (I'm surprised I haven't taken way more photos!) and started documenting my sweet baby girl's little ears, nose, eyes while she's still little!

Having a Girl...

...sometimes I look at my sweet little AR and just laugh as I realize (again!) that she's a girl! When I first got pregnant, I knew I did not want to find out the sex but Matt did. Luckily, we compromised that we could share names if we didn't find out the sex. By the end of the pregnancy, Matt said he was glad we didn't find out the sex. If I had to do it all again, I wouldn't do it any other way!

Like I told someone before she arrived who asked if we were being surprised, I said, "If it's a boy, we won't be surprised. Now if it's a girl, we'll be shocked!" And shocked we were! I think part of the fun was that we were "so sure" the baby was a boy so the fact that she was a girl was major shocker!!! Surprisingly, I thought it would be really hard NOT to find out but I was never really curious, probably because I just "knew" it was a boy.

I smile to myself when I think back to all my doctor's visits because I ALWAYS referred to the baby as he/him. My doc just smiled and nodded, she's got a great poker face. A couple nurses on the other hand kind of freaked out saying I thought you weren't finding out. I would tell them we weren't and you could see the relief on their face. I always told Matt either that means, "Thought you weren't finding out so how do you know it's a boy?" or "Oh crap, someone told her wrong!" Also, the receptionist had me fill out a form to have the "boy" circumsized. It's all just too funny!

Before I got pregnant and in the beginning, I really wanted a girl. Then I just got in my head that the baby was a boy and then I pictured our family as Matt, the pups, me and our "son." When Matt told me the baby was a girl, we were SHOCKED but seeing the look of love fill his face was awesome. One of the first things I said to him, "Now you're outnumbered!"

Honestly, the thought of a boy was a little intimidating because I don't know a whole lot about baby boys but I assumed I'd figure it out. A girl, I'm much more comfortable with and when she surprise pees on the changing pad, I don't think it's nearly as messy as when a boy would. :)

Of course, I'm sure down the road, we'll deal with girl drama, arguments over dating (Matt already has his friends lined up to sit on the front porch with shotguns when her boyfriends come over) and disagreements over clothes but I'm pretty thrilled and in love with my little girl.

Here's AR napping in her Boppy while I was putting clothes away. Doesn't she look like a little Queen Bee? I love this pic of her!!!

Two Weeks Postpartum...

...can you believe AR is two weeks already?!? I'm loving my time at home with her but hating how fast it's going. I wanted to do a good, bad and the ugly type of post so that I could be real so here goes...

The Good
*Since I've had her, I've lost 20+ pounds! She was 8 pounds of it plus whatever my placenta was so basically I had probably 10-15 pounds of swelling plus some. I'm trying not to get on the scale but I was so curious!
*I can see my feet and my calves and it just makes me smile every time I see them!
*AR gets cuter and cuter every day and we're slowly seeing some of her personality come across. She's really good at pushing me away when I want a kiss and all she wants to do is eat, I ask her, "What? Are you preparing for middle school?" We catch a smile here and there and she's really good at sticking her tongue out at you when you do it to her first.
*AR is still getting showered with super cute girl clothes! There's NO way she'll be able to wear everything she's gotten but it's all so cute so we might just do a fashion show.
*We had her newborn pics yesterday with the talented Katie Beach. I didn't get quite all the poses/shots I wanted but when you're working with a baby, you'll take what you can get. I know they turned out SUPER cute so I can't WAIT to see how they turn out.
The Bad
*I'm still a leaky mess and my boobs are sore. I'm pretty sure my right breast was engorged some but it's much better now.
*The Targets and Babies-R-Us around here only carry medium breast shields, which is silly since that's the size that comes with the pump. So big boobie me hasn't pumped yet because I had to order them online. Hopefully, they'll arrive next Tuesday.
*Just when I think I can tell her "routine" she totally changes it up on me. It's so hard to keep her up during a feeding sometimes.
*The one thing I think I really miss the most is laying down in my bed and relaxing. Now when I lay down in my bed, I feel like I have to hurry and fall asleep because I know I'll be up in a couple hours to feed. Then when I get her back to bed, I lay down then about 5 minutes later, I get up to go check on her. I know it'll pass but I miss knowing my bed is a place to relax.
*Stretch marks, I got 'em, they're gross and I hope they go away-here's to cocoa butter!
The Ugly
*I'm an emotional WRECK! Seriously, I'm way more hormonal now than I EVER was while I was pregnant. I cry and cry and cry then I blow my nose and blow my nose and blow my nose. I seriously didn't know I could cry so much and so often!
*Matt is so in love with Autumn, it makes me love him even more but I miss the attention he used to give me. My favorite time of day with Matt is at night after I nurse her and I crawl back into bed, he pulls me close to him. I know it's just part of being emotional/hormonal.
*I had a bowel movement since I got home from the hospital but it was no picnic. The first couple were okay but then I got to a point where I was definitely constipated and only passing some here and there. I decided to take a stool softner...yeah, I took ONE and let's just say, it was no bueno.

So there you have it, the good, the bad and the ugly of postpartum. I'm sure there's more but I've had to write this post in waves, ie when I had time, so not all my thoughts are collected at once. Bottom line though, every part of it is 100% worthwhile and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Now who doesn't love a cute baby pic? Here's AR after her photo shoot yesterday, love the dress but she's a bit worn out...it's tough work being so cute! Happy Two Weeks, Baby Girl!

PS
Rabbit, rabbit!