Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Most Dreaded Day of the Year...

...happened last Tuesday. It was the annual trip to the "girl doctor." Maybe this is a little more than you want to know BUT I still wanted to share and get some opinions. I had a very traumatic experience the first time I went as an adult and I think it has caused this forever fear! I always try to tell myself, it's no big deal Alyssa, its less than an hour, don't worry about it and I tend to calm down. Then she came out and called my name and I could feel my pulse start racing!!! I always apologize with, "It's nothing personal but I really hate doing this!"

Anyways, so skip over all the heeby jeeby part...as the dreadful moment ended, she asked when do you plan on having kids? I answer and ask her if there's anything that we should do when that time arrives (no, I won't be telling anyone when...). She tells me the usual and then says I should look into getting a Cystic Fibrois test. It takes both parents to be carriers in order to carry on that disease. She said if I got tested and was positive, then Matt would get tested and then basically we'd just have to sit down and weigh out the options and percentages and all that.

So I get to thinking about it then Matt and I discuss it that night. I don't really think I want us to get tested because we want to have kids. Of course, we hope that we have healthy children but even if they aren't, we'll still love them and take care of them. Matt and I both had some unusual health issues as children so I think we're prepared with what we would have to do if something were to happen (well, as prepared as you can be w/o being in that position). Plus, like I told Matt, that's just one disease in a world of so many out there. For instance, a girl that I work with every summer has Rhett's Disease which is something you don't find out until the child is around 2 so even though we could both NOT be carriers for CF, what's not to say that our child wouldn't have Rhett's and even if we ARE carriers that just means we COULD pass it on not that we necessarily would. So basically the nurse practioner was telling me, we would just have to sit down and decide whether or not we wanted to take the risks. So what do you all think? Do you think that's selfish of us not to test and just take the risk? Do you think our reasoning makes sense that we want to have children no matter what? Let me know what you think, just please be nice!

And so my world of worrying about my children (even unborn) begins and so does the countdown to next year's dreadful day...

6 comments :

Randall @ Happy For This Moment said...

I think that I would test just so I could be financially and emotionally prepared for the medical issues my child would have. I don't know if it would stop us from having children if we knew something was wrong but it would be good to know ahead of time to have our resources and plans in place to accommodate.

If we did test positive for a terrible disease I would have to think long and hard about bringing a child into the world that would be so ill. I almost feel like to be burdening a child with pain and sickness because I wanted children. I don't know... I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we come it it.

Kristal said...

Nope, no testing for me. At all. There are numerous tests throughout pregnancy that you can get, but I'll be declining all of them. First, a lot of the tests aren't simple positives or negatives. Rather, they are percentages. So one person may have 1 in 1 million chances of having a down syndrome baby while another will have 1 in 100 chance. But 1 in 100 doesn't mean you WILL have a DS baby. So why cause yourself the undue worry? Plus, like you said, I'm gonna love my children no matter what and even if I found out during pregnancy that there was a problem, I would not get an abortion, so I just don't see a point to the tests.

LucyinStLou said...

That's strange that she would mention that. As far as I know that's not something most doctor's do unless you are at risk in which case they'd probably send you to a genetic counselor to test for the gamut. If it were me, I would test, but I am a control freak.

Heidi said...

I agree...kind of strange they brought up that test. I have a 13mo. old and I've never been asked that. Now, when you DO get pregnant they will ask you if you want to take certain tests to check for things like down syndrome. I had to have lots of ultra sounds early on and the dr. always mentioned facial characteristics that looks completely fine and showing no sign of Downs at all. Because of that, we didn't do the test. Like Randall said, the only reason I would do it is to get financially and emotionally prepared. Any child of mine regardless of an ailment is loved just the same!

PS: Want a rec for a new dr? If there's that much anxiety going on, maybe try someone else???

Angie said...

This is a hard one. I'm going on 37 this year and I may be close to 40 by the time we start a family. I have no clue how long it may take us to get pregnant. That kind of worries me cause defects are known to happen the older you get. I'd kind of like to be prepared if something were going on. I saw my girlfriend get scared to death when she was pregnant and they told her all these bad things were going on and her baby turned out to be fine and they scared her shitless for no reason. That still makes me mad.

Cecilia said...

I would NOT do the testing. Life is about the unknowns. Sometimes things happen for a reason and you deal with them when they come. My hubby and I did not do the testing for Down's Syndrome. We were excited to be parents. We would love our child no matter what. We would handle whatever may come. Good luck with your decision making!!