Monday, October 18, 2010

Monday, Monday...

...Good Monday Morning Everyone! I am either sleeping in right now in my own bed snuggled up with the pups or I am sleeping in right now in my bed at my mom's house, getting ready to get up and make the last 2.5 hour trek back home from Florida! Either way, I knew I wouldn't be posting about the trip yet so I thought I'd share this funny list with you. I got it as a forward and I NEVER pass those things along but I thought this one was hilarious. So enjoy and tune in tomorrow for a Florida recap!

Truths For Mature Humans
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies.....Quit Laughing.)

Happy Monday!

9 comments :

Slamdunk said...

I hope your trip goes well.

On your #6, it is difficult for me to not say something bad as our older son learns cursive now--like how many times I have used it.

Teenage Bride said...

I am still laughing about number one!!

Christy said...

Without someone (often me) doing #10 I'd have a lot less to write about!

Have a great trip!

Meredith said...

LOL! I love it all. Hilarious!

Mrs. Fabulous said...

LOVED the list! Especially #1. Hope you had a great trip! :)

Mary said...

Funny list. #21 is my favorite! And I can definitely relate to #17 because it took me through downtown East St. Louis on my way home from Milstadt, IL instead of the (possibly) longer route on major roads. Thanks for that, Mapquest!

Sarah said...

Someone had this on FB this weekend, and I laughed then too.

The snooze button one has always been my favorite.

Jen said...

Sounds like fun! I only hope my road trip to Florida in 2 weeks is just as fun!

There is something about the beach and good friends to make that long drive soo worth it!

Angie said...

OMG I love that list - so true, all of them!