Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tired of My Happy Face

...sorry friends, but I'm tired of putting on my "happy face" for this blog and acting like everything is hunky dory when they aren't. I created this blog to be able to vent about things and to discuss things that I found interesting but I keep finding myself questioning if I should write about certain topics. I debated for days to post "The Great Debate" because I didn't want to offend anyone but I went for it. My birthday wasn't wonderful, grand or great but I didn't really say that because I didn't want to come across as a Debby Downer.

There's some stuff going on in my life right now that is very hard to understand and accept and indirectly effects my entire life...my mood, my marriage, my health (both mental and physical). I can't escape it, it's there all.the.time and if its not then there's always something there to remind me of it. It's frustrating, it's depressing and it's just there. I want to talk about it, discuss it but I can't because I really don't know anything and do you know how hard that is? To know something yet at the same time know nothing at all and to feel like no one is in your corner to help you out? It sucks...just sayin'.

I'm know I'm not dying, the pups are good, Matt is good, we have a house, we have our jobs so I know, "get over it," right? That's what I was told constantly throughout my wedding planning process and I did, I got over it and I regret just getting over it. And this time, I'm not just going to "get over it." So there, I've said my piece, I've put aside the "happy face" for today...I'll try to make it return tomorrow and have a happier post. Thanks for listening.

18 comments :

Adie said...

I am sorry things aren't great right now. You have to go through things in your own way. Let yourself do that. Life isn't rainbows and unicorns. (DANG IT! I know)

Chelsea said...

It's your blog! This is your piece of the internet. You're allowed to put whatever you want here.

I'm sorry you're having such a crappy time. I hope that whatever it is resolves itself soon. If you need to chat, I'm here. I probably can't help but sometimes it helps to vent to a faceless person!

Hangman's said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Krystie said...

:( We all go through phases in life that we question, and don't understand. But you will come out on the other side a stronger person, and no matter the outcome, it will help you grow.

Keep your chin up, cry, yell, scream, be mad, me happy. Do all these things.They Help!

Sleepless in Seattle said...

I know the feeling... I went through the same kind of emotions this time last year... it's hard to always put on a happy face... let me know if I can do anything!

Meredith said...

I am sorry for whatever you are going through right now!

Faith said...

I know it's tough sometimes to decide to post or not post something. Like Chelsea said, this is your piece of the internet. If someone doesn't like something you said, then worse thing, they'll stop reading. Or they'll leave a mean anon comment. Who the heck cares! Delete their comment and move on! You'll find more often then not total strangers can be supportive and offer you similar stories or insight. If anything it's nice to know that someone out there might be listening. You can close comments if you want to. Do what is going to make you feel better. Taking care of yourself is what's important, who cares what others think?

Hang in there hon. Sorry whatever it is going on.

Em Static said...

It wouldn't be real life if it was happy all the time. Honesty is what keeps people coming back.

Hang in, and I hope it's some comfort to know that at least you have us. :)

Cecilia said...

I'm sorry things are sucky right now. I hate for my friends to hurt. I will keep you in my prayers girly. And you don't have tonput on a happy face. Life includes the ups and the downs and we are here for you.

Angie said...

I agree with everyone else, this is your blog and you can write whatever you damn well please. No one is happy all the time and sometimes life just effing sucks. I have no clue what is going on but I'm here for you and am sad that you are sad.
Hang in there girl.

Amanda said...

What's the point of having a blog if you can't vent? But I do the same thing. I try to always put on a happy face even when I'm not happy.

I felt the same way after I got married. I had this anxiety I couldn't shake. I should have been so happy but there was something I wasn't happy about. I couldn't put my finger on it. And then stuff started happening (just things in life) that got me down and it didn't let up. It was tough! But I eventually did get out of it. Marriage is a really different world, even if you lived together before, it's different. We're here if you need us!

Stephany said...

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. It's no fun to be emotional but we're here to help you in any way, even if it's just a venting session.

And remember, it's your blog. If you want to be a Debby Downer, you can be a Debby Downer. We all know life isn't kittens and roses all the time. Life can be a challenge and blogging about it can help out a lot.

Lots of love to you! I hope things get better.

Sarah said...

::hugs::

Thanks for talking with me last night. I'm always here if you need another session.

Slamdunk said...

I appreciate your honesty. I respect bloggers that show their range of emotions.

I hope that things improve on your end.

LambAround said...

Get over it and post something happy tomorrow? That's CRAP! Take it from someone who put on her happy face because the things bothering me were all "too little/too meaningless/too unimportant" to get worked up about. Those things all add up!

I do hope that things get better soon :) Just in case they don't though, there's nothing wrong with putting your feelings in a blog post, especially if it helps you blow off some steam. I'm sure there's not a person who read this post who thought anything negative about you for not putting on your happy face today. Or even just type everything that's bugging you, even if it's something little and stupid, and don't post it. Sometimes just making a list and putting your feelings into words can help! My hubby has read a few angry lists of mine, aimed pretty much entirely at him. Sometimes, it's a good way to open up communication between us.

Randall @ Happy For This Moment said...

I don't know what is up but I'll certainly be thinking of you. I understand not wanting to toss all this out for public viewing but you are always welcome to vent to me! We need another STL blogger GTG soon - we'll wait until Angie scoots Nick out first :)

Kevin and Katie said...

We could send Matt with Kevin to some camp for 8 weeks. It gives you lots of time to think about things, cry about things, wonder why you are doing the things your doing, etc. I totally here ya, and let me know when you want to go to dinner again and we can complain together. Try to focus on the positive things, it doesn't mean not to give those negitive things there due time because they take time and need time. Give the negitive things in your life time to be thought about too, its the only way to work through them.

Hilary Lane said...

You should be able to talk about whatever you want to talk about on your blog!!! I like (I mean, that sounds weird) when people post "real" posts because I can identify with things people are going through, sometimes. There are times when I want to post things, but I know certain family members read, and so I refrain. When I was in college, I posted about a situation I was going through, stupidly, using people's real names. It was something that was indirectly related to my best friend at the time and our friendship was ruined because of it. We didn't talk for 3 years, and we're friends now, but not like we used to be.

Okay, all that to say, you should be able to say what you want, but sometimes you can't as much as it sucks. But sometimes, just to say that you're having a tough time is enough of a post to "let it out."