...so Matt and I have two weddings that day which creates some drama. Here's the story, so please leave your comments, advice, questions...
Wedding #1-Matt's cousin is getting married. She asked me to be her DOC and is really depending HEAVILY on me both the Friday before the wedding and the actual wedding day. I'm SUPER excited about it and can't wait to help out. Back story, this is Matt's dad's brother, I don't know the whole story but I do know that Matt's dad and brother don't talk at all, we don't share holidays with them, etc...When she asked me to help out, I okay-ed it with Matt first and he was all good with it. Today, his aunt tells me that they might be asking Matt to be an usher but it's not for sure yet which leads to the other wedding...
Wedding #2-Our best man is getting married the same day. We are great friends with his mom, sis and bro...him on the other hand...well, I'm not going to go into details but a lot of stuff went down with him leading up to our wedding and more and more stuff came out AFTER the wedding, stuff that you just don't do to people that you are supposed to be friends and care about...so when Matt asked him to be our best man, he said sure only if you're mine, this was in December 2007. Well, we got married October 2008 and Matt didn't talk/see him in person until June 2009 where Matt stood up to him and laid it all on the table. He apologized to Matt and Matt asked him to apologize to me...February 2010 and we've only received a couple of generic emails from him. We just assumed that he was planning on Matt not being in the wedding, a couple weeks ago, his sis told Matt that yeah, he's not the best man but her bro is still planning on Matt being in the wedding.
So there you have it, two weddings, one day, a little drama with both...HELP! Thoughts, comments, advice...please try to leave only positive remarks because this already stresses me.
9 comments :
Gosh, that is a tricky situation, but just from reading what you wrote, I think the solution is clear: attend Wedding #1 and not Wedding #2. After all, you are working Wedding #1, it's a family member, and you're no longer close to the best man. Friendships change over time and December 2007 was a long time ago-and it sounds like a lot has happened since then. Good luck. Once you make the decision, you'll probably feel a lot better. Let us know what you decide.
Gosh that is a tough one...The wedding #2 I wouldn't be too sure of, I mean if you don't talk much and had some bad times I woudlnt' feel obligated at all to that friend so maybe wedding #1 might be the better choice
First come first served in my opinion. I think you should definitely go to the first one since you're commited to work. Matt needs to choose which he would rather be involved in. I picked my wedding party pretty early in the wedding planning. Had I waited even a few months my party would have changed. One of my BM's isn't even one of my friends anymore. Relationships change over time. I wish I had waited and have had people that were a little more important to me in my wedding than the ones that were. If Matt feels it's important for him to be in this guy's wedding, then he should be. If not, then go to the other wedding.
Thanks for the feedback so far. I forgot to clarify that my decision is made...I will be at wedding #1 no matter what, the question is Matt...of course, I want him to be with me at HIS family's wedding but only time will tell. I appreciate all the good advice.
My vote is wedding number 1 and take Matt with you. Isn't wedding number 2 also far away so you would be spending money on driving there hotel room etc? Kevin is leaving in 24 hours. . . AHHHHHHH
I agree with the other ladies. Matt should definitely be with the fam. The friend hasn't even called. You got that info from his sis. Good luck, girl!
I agree with everyone else too. Life's too short to stress out over people that aren't worth it!
Yes, I totally agree with everyone else and think Wedding#1 is the best way to go for both of you! This is the one you seem a lot more excited about and I think you'll both have a whole lot of fun at this one, especially together.
I think you guys should stick together and go to wedding Number 1. Friendships change, and people move on. I know this all too well!!! Enjoy being the DOC and dont stress!!!
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